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We all make mistakes, and sometimes those choices lead to disappointment and struggles. It’s easy to fall into a cycle of self-blame, which can cause stress, anxiety, and a general sense of unease. To break free from this cycle and find peace, we need to forgive ourselves, but how?
Five Steps to Self-Forgiveness
Psychologist Vania Susanto offers five practical steps that can help us navigate this process.
1. Acknowledge Your Emotions
The first step is to accept the negative feelings that arise. We often set unrealistic expectations for ourselves and allow others to hurt us. It's important to recognize and validate these emotions.
Take time to reflect on your feelings and why they're there. For example, you might be feeling sad, disappointed, and angry with yourself for not standing up for yourself. Remember, these emotions are a part of you, and acknowledging them is the first step towards healing.
2. Apologize to Yourself
Once you've acknowledged your feelings, the next step is to apologize to yourself. Just as you would apologize to someone else, say to yourself, "I'm sorry, me, I may have been too hard on myself, prioritized others, and focused on making them happy, but I forgot about my own happiness."
Apologize for anything you did that made you feel uncomfortable or sad. This act of self-compassion can help you move forward.
3. Strive for Change
After acknowledging your feelings and apologizing to yourself, it's time to focus on change. Remember, the toxic situations are the problem, not you.
Have the courage to break unhealthy patterns and focus on things that are better and healthier for you. This might involve setting boundaries, pursuing new goals, or seeking support from loved ones.
4. Be Patient and Kind
Forgiving yourself takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and practice self-compassion. Acknowledge that you're doing your best and celebrate your progress.
Don't be discouraged if you have setbacks. It's a journey, not a destination.
5. Seek Support
If you find it difficult to forgive yourself, don't hesitate to seek help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide guidance and support during your journey of self-forgiveness.
Professional help can provide valuable insights and tools to navigate the process of self-acceptance and forgiveness.
Embarking on the journey of self-forgiveness takes time and effort. By practicing and implementing these steps, you'll find inner peace and live a more tranquil life.